November 17th, 2004

(no subject)

So I just signed out of work early and I came home to go sleep. Have I done this before? My boss thought so; I didn't remember it. How badly do I need this job? I think I need it pretty badly, and I should do whatever I have to do to my sleep schedule to keep it. Long-term it's not important, but short-term I need it.

More Musings on All of Life in the morning.

Sleep. Or not.

So here I am alone in my bed, not sleeping. I've been doing this for a couple of hours now, reading LJ and responding to journals; I could at this point go out and get a haircut. The rest of the world is awake now.

Is it solely an Aspie trait, to invent new ways of making life as hard as possible? I seem to have the knack for it. Okay, the IT industry went away and I couldn't find work. So now I'm working graveyard shift in a warehouse. All I need to do to keep that stable is sleep during the day. So why do I get up and move furniture with my kids? Because Dad is the #1 job, okay, but I need to do something *else* to make money for groceries. And I haven't figured out how to go to sleep by sheer effort of will.

I *could* stay at work by sheer effort, but I made the decision last night that that wouldn't be productive. I now know better; next time I'll stick it out even if I'm not being productive. As for now, might as well go get that haircut.