January 18th, 2005

Okay, so now for what *I* have to change.

Had a terrific meeting with Benny after work. Sure messed up *his* evening, though.

Got a lot of insight from him on how the world looks from Bosslady's perspective, and ran across an interesting parallel -- between this small, slight woman and Bruce the Wall, an old SCA buddy of mine who is physically huge. Also a bit fat, but if he was in perfect shape he'd still weigh about 350 or so.

As a bosslady, she has the power to fire people at whim. She doesn't particularly want to, any more than Bruce had any inherent great desire to go squish people. Of course, after the 50th bear joke or so, squishing people gets a lot more tempting. And if you're tiptoeing around timid people, the temptation to abuse your power can get overwhelming.

There's this thing about restraint: The thousand times you felt like sticking a shotgun in someone's ear and pulling the trigger and didn't will absolutely not count at all in people's memories compared to the one time you did. Our office clerk is a professional military bureaucrat, which may or may not have a causal relationship to her personification of the Mouse spirit.

I just realized that all this makes sense to me, but probably not to anyone else. I'll try to interpolate the half-dozen paragraphs that got left out of the above.

The Bosslady doesn't *want* to be an abusive bitch. She knows that she sometimes behaves that way, and tries to maintain a goodly sense of denial about it. But putting her in proximity to a Mouse spirit is a very bad idea.

And what am I doing there? I'm more of a scholar, and scholars are neither mice nor lions. I'm supposed to bring a new behavioral model into the office -- but my own learning pattern has historically been bottom-up. And in an abusive environment, being a mouse *seems* like the best course of action. But here it would be a catastrophe, if you'll pardon the pun.

Ben suggests I should be a hero. Also a bad archetype, because that'd cast Bosslady as the Dragon, and killing the boss is NOT a good way to succeed in business, unless you're the legal heir and you don't get caught. And I'm not the heir, and I'm also not a murderer. I don't think I'd have a problem killing in the heat of battle, but that kind of battle mostly went out with the invention of gunpowder.

And I've no clue if I'm being coherent yet; I'll put this aside and look at it in an hour or two and see how much I've bemused everybody.