February 13th, 2005

(no subject)

Up at two with splitting headache; still up.

It's the job.

I have other sources of tension in my life; getting the household running with Zack, seeing to Gabe, dealing with the landladies about Gabe's new dog, two active issues with the Evil Ex, and so on. But it's dealing with the job that has me up with a headache.

The bosslady's life, in the office, is based on blaming everyone else for everything and venting her temper on them. This is unpleasant. Unpleasantness I can deal with, but it also *doesn't get the job done.* There's an invoice that has to go out; I know that if I ask her about it I'll first have to waste half an hour getting bawled out for not already having done it. I *know* she wants it done; that's not news. And this will then cascade into blaming me for everything else that's not the way she wants it. I ask for priorities; everything is Top Priority -- which is semantically the same as saying nothing is, which she doesn't want to realize.

I don't think further immediate bitching will serve a purpose; you, my reader, get the idea, and bosslady's not reading this. But my head still hurts, and it's Sunday morning. Stewing on work won't get any work done. Writing her a letter about it won't help either. Doing my resume is a good idea, but I can't do that with a headache right now.

Need to finish laundry, get the carpet steamer out of storage, and take Zack to Japanese today. And EE wants to talk to me about logistics for this evening; i.e., she wants a favor and wants to present it as a command and play power-games with it. This is just Immediate stuff; the Important stuff that *should* top the list isn't even here. More work on research interests; get cell phone; do resume and start job hunt; start work on getting boys into schools for next year. And other stuff; headache is interfering with list-generating.

I'll try more sleep. I'm not sleepy, but it might help the headache. Writing the kink-filter post might help, but that's also difficult.

(no subject)

Had a heavy talk with Zack on the way home from his Japanese class, which went well but was very draining. I *think* I got across to him that my desire to help him build a complete life is in no way a desire to control him, that he's perfectly free to go do it his own way if he wishes but that if I don't see activity of *some* nature I'm going to suggest some. My way, his way, or J. Random Guru's lifeplan, but do *something*.

He questions my motives, which is good; we made an appointment to discuss that further later tonight.

Gabe is over, as Gail wanted a babysitter but didn't want to pay for one. I'll take what I can get.

Momentary respite from headache; this is good, but if it comes back again I'm not going to be good for much tomorrow.