March 11th, 2005

Insensitivity my ass...

Crossposted with Aspergers:

Lilymom asks:

But now I understand that Aspies are supposed to "lack empathy". If that's the case, then why aren't we the ones doing the bullying?

Good subject, Lilymom; thanks.

I think the "lack empathy" factor is an NT (neurotypical) misinterpretation of what we really do. We have a different approach to language, so we don't always *understand* when someone else is feeling something particular. But if you tell me in Russian you need a bathroom, I won't respond to you either, and I do know what it's like to need a bathroom.

I *have* heard of an aspie bully, one, but I've never *met* one. All the aspies I've actually met have been very aware that others have feelings, just some of 'em are bad at recognizing what would hurt those feelings. Reminds me of a friend who used to work on steam boilers and got scalded often enough that he was physically insensitive. He'd bang into things all the time and not notice; it didn't hurt *him*. It might hurt you to be bumped *into*, but he wasn't really aware of that.

My sons' way of putting it is "I'm a Mac in a PC world. I work just fine, except for the interface problems."

best,

Joel. Second-generation Aspie.

(no subject)

Grr. Feels like being in a sports car with a 300-hp. engine, a manual transmission, and a busted clutch pedal. Lots of power, *almost* everything works, and I'm not moving. Grr.

So *that's* where I left my buttocks!

Two phone calls, so a bit of human contact. One with Aunt Joan, discussing Discipline, which is a concept I do know how to use, though I have to admit to having forgotten for a while. Then one from Zack's Mom, who'd been called by the school nurse because Zack had come to her office for severe depression. He'd been adamant about going back to class, so I'm not going to second-guess him, but I do want to talk with him this afternoon.

In the meantime, in the spirit of Discipline, I'm going to go to the gym, come back and shower and get ready for a day, take Gabe to his dance class, and do the child support letter while he's in class. Then back here and do something fun for a reward. Then resume and job hunt.

I still need to make a schedule out of that rather than just an agenda, but for the moment it's time to get started.