April 11th, 2005

Aspergers and Power

Insomnia sucks; being *awake* doesn't mean your brain is fully working, or that you're *alert*. So I get snippets of thought and inspiration, and can't quite put them together. Incomplete thoughts follow:

I think one of the fundamental issues differentiating Aspies from NTs might be approach to power and dominance issues. But I'm not sure how it works, yet.

Another poster on Asperger mentioned how irritated she gets with people who cannot admit fault, or back down. That's a power move. When said poster finds she's wrong, she just admits it and backs down, which is surrendering a power position.

A thought: If you *give up* a power issue with an NT, they don't get to resolve their dominance issue. They got what they said they wanted, but they didn't get to *see themselves* win a conflict *with you*.

That may be important. One of the ways to prove good faith is a willingness to abide by "The Rules" even if you lose. If you give up too fast, no one gets to *see* you lose. So you end up *looking like* a One True Wayist nutcase.

There are parallels lower in the animal kingdom, as well. Dogs have a surrender reflex; they give up by rolling on their backs and baring their throats, whereupon the winning dog accepts the surrender. If we give up *too fast* when we're wrong, we may short-circuit the similar mechanism in humans.