October 23rd, 2007

Not all rejection is personal

So those of you on my kink filter got to read about my rejection last night on grounds that I wasn't rich enough. I'm not sure why I *put* that on my kink filter, but that's the big wrinkly grey beast again. While I feel crappy this morning, that's from having indulged in a more traditionally feminine coping mechanism for dealing with rejection and having consumed a pint of chocolate ice cream before bed last night. My food sensitivites don't reach the level sometimes called "allergies," but I am sensitive to both dairy and chocolate, and aware of those sensitivities, and so my current mild head-achey-ness and biologic rocket propulsion are self-inflicted. And, hopefully, will clear up no later than early afternoon today.

One of the comments about that was to the effect that my rejectrix was a brazen gold-digger. Feels good to portray it that way, but not true; she's looking for someone in her own economic bracket. (I'd used the analogy of going to Mexico City to satisfy a craving for Mexican food; that's a roughly $300 round-trip from here if you fly coach, though I doubt coach is what's being considered.)

A more interesting question to consider is "Is it okay to be attracted to someone because they can spend money to do things with you?" I'd say it's a *shallow* reason, but not an *unacceptable* one. The rejectrix has made a lot of her own money and wants to spend it, doesn't want to pay someone else's tab, but wants them to be able to do what she wants to do. I think that's *short-sighted*, and to my personal disadvantage, but calling it "evil" would be taking it a bit too far.

Another commenter pointed out she might be waiting a long time; possibly forever. True, and not my responsibility. Nor would it be good for me to sit around waiting to gloat about it, because something that's still currently true is that we all decay and die, with time. The image of a bunch of gloaters sitting around the nursing home, each glorying in the misfortunes of the others in aging, hits a particular chord of dis-appeal for me.