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Kid got canned again
polydad
Zack got fired yesterday. He'd been there a bit over a year, much like his last job. He's getting a little bit more clued in about how to tell when things aren't going right, but still not fast enough to placate his employers. They're giving him a month's severance, which is nice as far as it goes.

From what I can tell from what little he shares with me, the main problem again was his social skills -- not knowing when to ask for help, for the most part. He *did* have a real tough employer, so his having the Aspie Talk with his boss may have been seen as making excuses.

Right now *I'm* in the middle of reorganizing my head, and feeling his pain is a pain in my own metaphorical butt I could have done without. I know this kind of "feeling" is an illusion, but being an illusion doesn't make it any the less real -- I have a pain in my Zack, and it hurts, and pain is distracting. And he only likes help if he explicitly asks for it, so I've got both a fair amount of shutting up to do and some very delicate questioning to plan out for when he *does* finally get around to asking for it, because he also only wants as *much* as he asks for, even when (almost always) he's not asking for enough or on the right subjects. ("What was wrong with the way I was arranging the deck chairs that caused the ship to sink?")

I've signed up for a political-protest bus trip leaving Saturday for LA; about time I visited Dad down there anyway, I like the cause (justice in the Philippines), and it's about a hundred bucks cheaper than flying there and back. I can write more about that both in a bit and from the road; right now I need to email them about scheduling so I can tell Dad when I'll be visiting.


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I think my ex (blaisepascal) is on the aspie spectrum as well. As is HIS ex (calls himself Doc). From what i can tell it causes hyperfocusing on things that don't help your problems.... your post helped me understand it a bit better. Sorry that Zach's ex employers weren't a bit more accomodating with his learning style.

Oh no; so sorry to hear! *hugs hugs*

Alas, having the Aspie Talk almost never helps, because neurotypicals in general don't have a fucking clue, and interpret everything through their irrational zero-sum neurotypical filters.

The whole 'disclosure' mind-set is bullshit. Never disclose yourself, never admit disability, never ask for accommodations, never let anyone know you're having difficulties, because no good can come of it. IF you get any accommodations - and you may not - it'll be at the price of any status and respect you might otherwise have had. The only viable option is learning to 'pass', and cultivating the techniques and practices that make it less stressful.

People usually don't realize I'm autistic on first meeting, because I'm so well-rehearsed in the performance-art of 'passing'. The reason I'm so well-rehearsed is because it was made inescapably clear to me at a young age that these hairless chimpanzees would harass me to my literal death unless I learned the right strategies to cope with them. Even so, I'm not great at it; performance art is best when brief and at a distance.

You know about Captain Awkward, right? Perhaps Zack would like it too.

Have fun on your trip South! I hope you have a good protest, and a good visit with your Dad. Be well, dearheart; may the odds be ever in your favor!

Edited at 2018-05-02 05:10 am (UTC)

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